Thanksgiving for Children

A ‘thanksgiving’ service for a child (sometimes known as a ‘dedication’ service) is a simple ceremony in which parents bring their child before the local church family to: 

• Publicly express their gratitude to God for the gift of the child.
• To ask for God’s help and for the prayers of the church family in parenting the child in a Christian way. 

Some churches in FIEC will conduct infant baptism, which is something completely different to what is envisaged here.

Give thanks 

“Give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you…” (1 Thessalonians 5:18) 

Giving thanks in all circumstances is a hallmark of a true Christian. The gift of a child is one of God’s great gifts to mankind (Psalm 127:3). It is highly appropriate to give thanks in such circumstances. 

The command to give thanks in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 is in the plural and given in a letter to a local church. It is fitting, therefore, for a Christian parent or parents to ask their church family to join with them in giving thanks for the gift of a child. 

And not just join in giving thanks but also in publicly expressing the local church’s commitment to supporting the parents in the bringing up of their child, at least for so long as the family belongs to that church. 

Pray for the parents  

It is the desire of every Christian parent and of every local church in supporting Christian parents that the children entrusted to them should be brought up “in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4), “in the truths of the faith” (1 Timothy 4:6), and “to know the holy scriptures from infancy” (2 Timothy 3:15). 

Under the old covenant, parents were told that they should memorise God's words and think about them, to write them down to help them obey them. Then it says, “Teach them to your children. Talk about them all the time, whether you are at home or walking along the road or going to bed at night or getting up in the morning...” (Deuteronomy 11:18-20). 

Christian parents have a responsibility to love, care, and pray for their children, to teach them the scriptures and above all to model Christ-like living. This is a tremendous responsibility, which is why prayer and encouragement from fellow-Christians for the parents is such a vital thing and is an integral part of a thanksgiving service. 

The supreme ambition for our children 

We need to remember that the most important thing we should want and pray for our children is not that they are healthy and wealthy or otherwise humanly successful, but that they become devoted followers of the Lord Jesus Christ. 

In other words, our prayer should be focused on their response to the gospel in due course and their ultimate salvation by God's grace and mercy. 

Biblical precedent 

In the gospels, we read that parents brought their infants and little children to Jesus for him to lay hands on them and to pray for them (Matthew 19:13; Luke 18:15). 

While there is no mention of thanksgiving, Jesus welcomed this and rebuked those who discouraged parents in bringing their children to him. 

It is probably reading too much into the text to suggest that this is a precedent for a thanksgiving for a child in our day and age. However, it does encourage us to bring our children before the Lord Jesus, even though it is we who are praying for their blessing rather than the Lord Jesus, as in the gospels. 

Things to avoid 

Overemphasis 

Don’t give or allow the impression that a thanksgiving somehow imparts spiritual life to the child, or makes them a Christian, or changes their spiritual status before God. 

It does not. 

Pressurising 

Avoid putting pressure on parents of young children in the church, explicitly or implicitly, that a thanksgiving is necessary for the spiritual development of their child. 

Having a thanksgiving service for a child is not a biblical command for parents in the same way as being baptised is a command for believers. 

Dry infant baptism 

Don’t make it seem like a ‘dry infant baptism’. Infant baptism is another thing altogether. 

A thanksgiving for a child is quite different, simpler, and based on a different understanding of the scriptures, especially the relationship of the new and old covenants. 

Dedication language 

Consider not using the language of ‘dedication’. 

It is not uncommon for Christians to talk about ‘dedicating’ their children to the Lord. At first sight, this might seem noble and appropriate. ‘Children are a gift from God, so we offer them back to God.’ But where is the biblical precedent for this? 

The usual case cited is Hannah dedicating the infant Samuel for life to the Lord in 1 Samuel 1:27-28. However, this does seem to be the exception in Israel, not the rule. And Hannah left the infant Samuel with the priest Eli and thereafter only made annual visits to see him and provide him with new clothes (1 Samuel 2:19). 

Conflation

Be careful not to treat non-Christian parents the same as Christian parents. Care needs to be exercised here. 

A pastoral visit 

When the parents of a child request a thanksgiving service, it is a good opportunity to visit them in their home: 

• To encourage them in their God-given responsibilities of parenthood.
• To make sure that they understand that there is nothing about a thanksgiving that changes the spiritual status of the child or gives them salvation.
• To make clear that the supreme ambition for every Christian parent is that in due course, by the work of the Holy Spirit as they hear the gospel message through their parents and others, their children should come to personal repentance and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and find eternal salvation.
• To underline the importance of a commitment by Christian parents not just to their children but to the Lord Jesus, the scriptures, and the local church. 

Date and location 

Given the importance of local church support in bringing up children in a Christian family, the obvious place and time for a thanksgiving is during the main Sunday gathering. 

There may be exceptional circumstances, for example, with a very sick child, where it is not clear how much longer the child will live. In such circumstances, a private thanksgiving in the hospital or the home may be appropriate. You might ask if the family would like other members of the church family to be present, or to keep it small. 

Local church involvement 

It is the privilege and responsibility of a local church family to encourage, partner with, and assist parents in the proper training and nurture of their children. 

Therefore, it is appropriate to ask the members of this church family to make a promise of commitment to encourage, help, support and pray for the parents in their bringing up the child, at least as long as the family remains part of the church. 

Parental supporters (sometimes known as godparents) 

Some Christian parents have Christian friends who agree publicly to commit to support the parents in bringing up their child. 

In this case, there is optional wording for commitment to such a role for parental supporters alongside commitment from the local church family. 

Obviously, the main promise of commitment is from the parents themselves. This is something to discuss during the pastoral visit. 

Variations 

• Where a single parent requests a thanksgiving, acknowledgement that the parent is bringing up the child on his or her own would be helpful.
• Where one of the couple or parents requesting a thanksgiving is not a believer, or neither are believers, the wording will need to be changed to fit that situation. The main change will be to the wording about prayer, teaching, and the setting of a godly example by the parents, and to the main question asked of the parent or parents. Please see below for suggested alternative wording.
• Where a child has additional needs, or is adopted, acknowledgement of this reality is appropriate. Some further comments can be found in the Appendix. 

We have come to join with [parents’ full names] in thanking God for his goodness to them in giving them the gift of [child’s name]. 

Children are entrusted by God to their parents. It is a huge responsibility. Today, [parents first names] want to publicly ask God's help in bringing up [name of child] in the training and instruction of the Lord, in the truths of the faith, and to know the holy scriptures from infancy. 

Where one or both of the parents is not yet a believer, this wording could be changed to: “Today [parents’ first names] want publicly to ask that [child’s name] will learn the truths of the Christian faith from infancy, and they want us to pray that they will ensure this will happen. 

Children born to Christian parents are highly privileged because, through their parents, they hear the great promises of the gospel. Today, we want to publicly ask God to grant that in due course [child’s name] would respond to the good news about the Lord Jesus in personal repentance and faith, and become a devoted, lifelong follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. 

Where one of the parents is not yet a believer, the first sentence of the previous paragraph could be changed to: “[child's name] is in a position of high privilege because as he/she grows up, he/she will be hearing the great promises of the gospel.”

To the parents 

Gratefully acknowledging this child as a gift and trust from the Lord, and recognising that bringing him/her up is a privilege and responsibility given to you by God, do you promise before God to live in such a way, by unconditional love and consistent example, by persistent prayer and regular instruction, that [child’s name] may have every opportunity to come to know the Lord Jesus Christ as his/her own personal Lord and Saviour? 

Parents’ response 

We do so, with God's help. 

Where one of the parents is not yet a believer, the wording of the question to the parents will need to be changed to a promise “to ensure that [child's name] may have every opportunity...” omitting the references to love, example, prayer and instruction.

To the church family, having invited them to stand 

Do you, as members of this church, accept the responsibility, for as long as this family remains part of this church, to encourage, help, support and pray for [parents’ first names] in bringing up [child’s name] in this way? 

Response of church family 

We do so, with God's help. 

To the parental supporters (if applicable) 

Do you promise before God to pray regularly for [child's name] and to support [parents’ names] in every way as they seek to bring him/her up in this way, so that [child's name] may have every opportunity to come to know the Lord Jesus Christ as his/her own personal Lord and Saviour? 

Parental supporters’ response 

We do so, with God's help. 

At the end, the person leading the Thanksgiving may wish to take the child in their arms to pray for them.

An appropriate way to finish that prayer with would be the Aaronic blessing from Numbers 6:24-26.

 May the Lord bless you and keep you: 

may the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;  

may the Lord turn His face towards you and give you His peace,  

now and forever,  

through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

Adopted children 

Prayer in the case of adoption will reflect the special providence of God that has led to the joining of parents and child, and the goodness and care of God in providing families for the nurture and spiritual well-being of children. 

Children with additional needs 

When the child brought before the Lord has physical or other additional needs, care is required in serving the parents. 

While acknowledgement of the child's needs is appropriate, undue sadness and excessive expressions of pity should be avoided. These tend to disregard the parents' genuine thankfulness to God for the child that they have been given.  

A pastoral visit is essential. This will reveal the story of the parents and the child. And it will determine the tone of the thanksgiving service. It may be very joyful if the parents never thought the child would ever get to this point. 

The parents may need continuing pastoral support in coming to terms with their situation, especially when there is the prospect of a reduced length of life or of long-term care.  There is almost certainly greater uncertainty about the future when a child has additional needs. 

Prayer in these circumstances will also emphasise the need for additional mental, physical, and spiritual strength for the parents as they cope with the extraordinary demands their child may present to them. 

It may be appropriate at the beginning of the service to include the following: 

• To recognise the privilege given to the parents to love, care and nurture the child in these exceptional circumstances.
• To confess humbly the need for God's special grace, help, and strength for the parents, particularly with the unknowns which come with a child with additional needs. It is good to pray that the parents would grow in their trust in God’s sovereign care.
• To acknowledge that there are many heart-aching experiences which affect us in this life which are beyond our present understanding, but which are fully within God’s loving care and purposes and which He can richly bless.
• To confess that God makes no mistakes and, although his purposes are sometimes hidden from us, his will and ways are perfect.
• To emphasise the help and encouragement which a church family can give.
• Additional appropriate scriptures include Deuteronomy 29:29; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.