Unity Between Genders

We know that in Christ, barriers between men and women come down and we are united as brothers and sisters in God's family. This should be seen in healthy respectful relationships between men and women, as equal members of the church and co-heirs in Christ.

But what might that unity between genders look like in our churches? There are two key principles which should deepen unity between men and women, enabling us to work together for Christ.

Positive engagement

Firstly, positive engagement rather than ignoring one another or looking past each other. In the church there's a temptation to segregate men and women or for each to avoid the other to seek to ensure no ungodly behaviour.

However, as fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, men and women should relate with familial love and let this shape communication and interaction with one another.

This will mean taking time to know what is going on in one another's lives, ministries and finding ways to meaningfully support and pray for each other.

Respectful understanding

Secondly, respectful understanding rather than making assumptions. As we get to know one another and minister together, it can be too easy to assume we know what someone's lived experience is like.

We can easily buy into stereotypes which usually push us apart rather than hold us together. Men can think of women as being a bit emotional and sensitive. Women can think of men as being a bit clinical and maybe not good listeners.

Instead we want to respect each other and understand each other well. That means being proactive in our listening and our questioning. What is loved, feared or hard for this person? Is it different from what I had expected? Such interactions are expressions of love and build foundations for help and ministry.

Case study

Let me tell you about Sophie. Sophie is a partner in a law firm. She serves faithfully in Sunday school and makes sacrifices to attend her small group midweek.

She's been involved in church life for over 10 years. She's single and at times feels this keenly and also supports her ageing mother who lives a distance away. On a Sunday evening she shares a pew with one of the elders.

At the end of the service they greet one another and she asks about his work and family life. He responds briefly and then shifts to asking her about her upcoming week.

He knew from previous conversations that she'd had some difficult partner meetings at work and wanted to know if things had gotten any easier. He remembered that balancing caring for her mum and the stresses of work had been challenging.

He then turns to ask how Sunday school is going and if she has any concerns to share with the elders from her role as a team leader. He wanted to ensure that she knew she should attend the upcoming Bible handling training as the elders are keen that all those involved in teaching the Bible get regular training.

He also asks if she has any questions about the possible church plant on her side of town that the elders are discussing. The elders had been wondering if she'd consider leading the Sunday school there but she is aware that she has a lot on her plate. After their conversation the elder offered to pray for Sophie.

She left church that evening feeling seen, cared for and pastored, knowing that she was part of the church family and excited about serving Jesus with her brothers and sisters in Christ.

Can you see how this elder positively engaged with Sophie and sought to understand her situation? Instead of ignoring her and moving on to the nearest man he proactively talked to her and didn't make assumptions. Instead took time to understand her life circumstances.

What about you?

Can you see the importance of working in unity with the men and women in your church family? What might need to change for proactive engagement, respectful understanding and growth in reflecting God's good design of men and women united as God's image bearers?