Preparing for and Conducting Weddings

"Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain..." (Psalm 127:1)

"Our help is in the name of the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth." (Psalm 124:8)

We are gathered here in the presence of God and before this congregation to join together this man and this woman in marriage.

Marriage is a special and unique relationship appointed by God. It is commended in the Bible as a gift to be honoured by everyone and is set apart as sacred, signifying the wonderful spiritual union between Christ and his church.

It is therefore not to be entered upon lightly or carelessly, but thoughtfully, with reverence for God, and with due consideration of the purposes for which it was established by God.

It was established for the lifelong companionship, help and strength, which husband and wife ought to give to each other.

It was established for the continuance of family life as God intended, that children, who are gifts from the Lord, should be carefully brought up and trained to love and obey him.

It was established for the good of human society, which can be strong and happy only where marriage and family life are held in honour.

Into this special and unique relationship these two persons now desire to enter. If, therefore, anyone can show any just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace.

Then speaking to the bride and bridegroom, the pastor will say:

I require and charge you both, that if either of you know of any lawful impediment why you may not be lawfully joined together in matrimony, you now confess it.

The man shall then repeat after the pastor:

I DO SOLEMNLY DECLARE /
THAT I KNOW NOT /
OF ANY LAWFUL IMPEDIMENT /
WHY I _________ (BRIDEGROOM’S FULL NAME) /
MAY NOT BE JOINED IN MATRIMONY /
TO _________ (BRIDE’S FULL NAME).

The woman shall then repeat after the pastor:

I DO SOLEMNLY DECLARE /
THAT I KNOW NOT /
OF ANY LAWFUL IMPEDIMENT /
WHY I _________ (BRIDE’S FULL NAME) /
MAY NOT BE JOINED IN MATRIMONY /
TO _________ (BRIDEGROOM’S FULL NAME).

Prayer:

Lord our God, you have bound yourself to your people by a covenant and by many gracious promises and have given yourself to us in the person of our Lord Jesus Christ. We praise you that your covenant will never be broken and your promises will never fail and that nothing shall separate us from your love that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

We also make vows and promises, but apart from you, O Lord, we lack the strength to keep them as we should. We are now to listen to our friends as they make these serious vows. We listen as witnesses and as those who wish them well. As you hear them, O Lord, be more than a witness and well-wisher to them. Do for them what we cannot: give them strength from heaven not only to make their vows in sincerity but to keep them for as long as they both shall live. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour. Amen.

Then the pastor will say to the man:

_________, will you have this woman to be your wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the special relationship of marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, in sickness and in health, and, forsaking all other, keep only to her, so long as you both shall live?

Answer: I will

Then the pastor will say to the woman:

_________, will you have this man to be your husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the special relationship of marriage? Will you obey him and comfort him, love him, honour and keep him, in sickness and in health, and, forsaking all other, keep only to him, so long as you both shall live?

Answer: I will

Then the pastor will ask:

Who gives this woman to be married to this man?

The father or the friend taking his place will say:

I do

Then the pastor will ask the congregation to stand and address them saying:

Friends, do you who are present today witnessing is marriage, promise to pray for _______ and ______ and support them in every appropriate way as they begin married life.

Answer: We do

Then the pastor, addressing the couple by their first names, will say:

_________ and ________ as a seal to the vows you are now about to make, will you please give each other your right hand.

Then the man will say after the pastor:

I CALL UPON /
THESE PERSONS HERE PRESENT /
TO WITNESS THAT I ________/
DO TAKE THEE, _________ /
TO BE MY LAWFUL WEDDED WIFE.

I will be faithful to you /
from this day forward /
for better for worse /
for richer for poorer /
in health or illness /
to love and to cherish /
till death us do part.

Then while the couple's right hands are still clasped, the woman will say after the pastor:

I CALL UPON /
THESE PERSONS HERE PRESENT /
TO WITNESS THAT I ________ /
DO TAKE THEE, _________/
TO BE MY LAWFUL WEDDED HUSBAND.

I will be faithful to you /
from this day forward /
for better for worse /
for richer for poorer /
in health or illness /
to love, to cherish and to obey /
till death us do part.

Then the man, placing a ring on the fourth finger of the woman's left hand, will say:

I give you this ring /
as the token and memorial /
that I have taken you to be my wife. 

If the man is to receive a ring, the woman will say:

I give you this ring /
as the token and memorial /
that I have taken you to be my husband.

Then the pastor will say:

Whom God has joined together, let not man put apart.

_________ and _________ have willingly bound themselves by solemn promise before God and this congregation; I pronounce them to be husband and wife, in the name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Then the pastor will pray for them as they kneel:

Prayer:

"The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up the light of his countenance upon you and give you his peace, now and always, through Jesus Christ our Lord." Amen

We have come together in the presence of God and of this congregation, to witness the marriage of _________ and _________, to ask God's blessing on them, and to share in their joy.

What is marriage?

God’s word, the Bible, teaches that marriage is a gift of God to mankind, given at creation. It is a permanent, exclusive and God-sealed relationship, in which a man and woman leave their parents, stick to each other and become one flesh, that is, one unit.   

This gift has two primary purposes: to be a partnership and a picture.

In the partnership of marriage, the husband and wife are to serve God together by playing their part in the management of the world God has made and entrusted to mankind.

God's purpose when Christians marry is that, as husband and wife give themselves to each other in love throughout their lives, their marriage should be a living picture of the love between the Lord Jesus Christ and his people.

In order to enable the partnership of marriage to prosper and the picture of marriage to be clear, God has provided:

• First of all that husband and wife may help and encourage each other in the service of God, living faithfully together in need and in plenty, in sorrow and in joy.
• Also that with delight and tenderness they may know each other in love, and, through the joy of their bodily union, may strengthen the union of their hearts and lives, and avoid the temptation to be unfaithful.
• And finally that they may have children and, if God graciously gives children, be blessed in caring for them and providing a stable home in which they may grow up in the knowledge and love of God, to the praise of his holy name.

The Lord Jesus Christ himself was a guest at a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and through his Spirit he is with us now.

In marriage, husband and wife belong to one another in the security of a lifelong mutual commitment.  This is not only for their own good but for the welfare of society as a whole, in which they begin a new life together.

It is a way of life that all should honour. 

It must not be undertaken carelessly, lightly, or selfishly, but reverently, responsibly, and after serious thought.

This is the way of life, created and made holy by God, that _________ and _________ are now to begin.

They will each give their consent to the other; they will join hands and exchange solemn vows, and in token of this, they will each give and receive a ring.

Therefore, on this their wedding day, let us pray for them that, strengthened and guided by God, they may fulfil his purpose for the whole of their earthly life together.

To the congregation

Before _________ and _________ take their vows, I call upon anyone present who knows a reason why these persons may not lawfully marry, to declare it now.

To the couple

The vows you are about to take are to be made in the presence of God, who is judge of all and who knows all the secrets of our hearts: therefore, if either of you knows a reason why you may not lawfully marry, you must declare it now.

The bridegroom says

I SOLEMNLY DECLARE /
THAT I DO NOT KNOW OF ANY LAWFUL IMPEDIMENT /
WHY I, (BRIDEGROOM'S FULL NAME) /
MAY NOT BE JOINED IN MARRIAGE /
TO (BRIDE'S FULL NAME).

The bride says

I SOLEMNLY DECLARE /
THAT I DO NOT KNOW OF ANY LAWFUL IMPEDIMENT /
WHY I, (BRIDE'S FULL NAME) /
MAY NOT BE JOINED IN MARRIAGE /
TO (BRIDEGROOM'S FULL NAME).

Can break here, if desired, for readings, songs, and prayers.

To the bridegroom:

(Bridegroom's full name) will you take (Bride's full name) to be your wife, to live together according to God's law as husband and wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her, as long as you both shall live?

The bridegroom shall answer:

I will

To the bride:

_________, will you take _________ to be your husband, to live together according to God's law as husband and wife?   Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him, as long as you both shall live?

The bride shall answer:

I will

The pastor asks:

Who gives this woman to be married to this man?

The father or friend says:

I do

Then the pastor receives the bride from the hands of her father or friend. The bride and bridegroom turn to face each other.

The bridegroom, with his right hand, takes the bride's right hand in his and says:

I CALL UPON THOSE PRESENT /
TO WITNESS THAT I, _______ /
DO TAKE YOU ________, /
TO BE MY LAWFUL WEDDED WIFE, /
from this day forward /
for better for worse, /
whether richer or poorer, /
in sickness and in health, /
to love, cherish and serve, /
laying down my life for you, /
until death separates us, /
according to God's holy law; /
and this is my solemn vow.

Loose hands: the bride with her right hand takes the bridegroom's right hand in hers and says

I CALL UPON THOSE PRESENT /
TO WITNESS THAT I, _______ /
DO TAKE YOU ________, /
TO BE MY LAWFUL WEDDED HUSBAND, /
from this day forward /
for better for worse, /
whether richer or poorer, /
in sickness and in health, /
to love, respect and serve, /
and submit to you /
until death separates us, /
according to God's holy law; /
and this is my solemn vow.

To the congregation:

Let us do all we can to support _________ and _________ as they seek to glorify God by remaining faithful to their marriage vows.

Loose hands: best man places the rings on the pastor’s book; the bridegroom places the ring on the fourth finger of the bride’s left hand, and holding it there, says:

I give you this ring /
as a token of our marriage. /
With my body I honour you, /
all that I am I give to you, /
and all that I have I share with you.

Loose hands: the bride places the ring on the fourth finger of the bridegroom's left hand, and holding it there, says:

I give you this ring /
as a token of our marriage. /
With my body I honour you, /
all that I am I give to you, /
and all that I have I share with you.

To the congregation:

In the presence of God, and before this congregation, _________ and _________ have given their consent and made their marriage vows to each other.  They have declared their marriage by the joining of hands and by the giving and receiving of rings.

I therefore proclaim that they are husband and wife.

Then the pastor joins their hands and says:

Those whom God has joined together let nobody separate.

Here are some forms of wording for divorcees to insert at the point in the marriage service where the persons to be married are asked whether they know any reason why they should not marry.

Where one is a divorcee

At this point we are about to ask the congregation and [M and W] if they know any reason why they may not lawfully marry

Before we ask about reasons why they may not lawfully marry, it is appropriate to acknowledge that _________  was previously married, but that, sadly, the marriage broke down despite their desire to save it. 

To the divorcee:

_________, acknowledging that your first marriage sadly broke down, do you ask forgiveness from God for any wrong you may have done to your previous spouse that contributed to the breakdown of your marriage?

Answer:

I do.

To the divorcee:

_________, God says in his word that if we claim to be without sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, God can be trusted to keep his promise of forgiveness and he will cleanse us from all our sins and all uncleanness, in a way that is totally compatible with his justice.

Where one is a divorcee and the other has a child or children by a previous relationship

At this point we are about to ask the congregation and [M and W] if they know any reason why they may not lawfully marry

Before we ask about reasons why they may not lawfully marry, it is appropriate to acknowledge that _________  was previously married, but that, sadly, the marriage broke down despite their desire to save it. 

And that _________  was in a relationship for some years through which God gave the beautiful gift of [name of child or children] _________ .

To the couple:

_________ , acknowledging that previous relationships have sadly broken down, and that you come to this day as sinners before a holy God, do you ask forgiveness from God for any wrong you may have done that contributed to the breakdown of those relationships and for any way you may have wronged each other?

Answer:

I do.

_________ , God says in his word that if we claim to be without sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, God can be trusted to keep his promise of forgiveness and he will cleanse us from all our sins and all uncleanness, in a way that is totally compatible with his justice.

Where one is a divorcee and has children (alternative wording)

At this point we are about to ask the congregation and [M and W] if they know any reason why they may not lawfully marry

Before we ask about reasons why they may not lawfully marry, it is appropriate to acknowledge that _________  was previously married, but that, sadly, the marriage broke down despite their desire to save it. 

The rationale for changing the wording of the above paragraph is if there were teenage children of the divorcee present who probably did not know the details of the marriage break-up.

To the couple:

_________, acknowledging that your first marriage sadly ended, have you had time to reflect on the break down, to find your peace with God and seek good counsel from family and friends?

Answer:

I have.

To the couple:

_________, God's word stresses the importance of marriage as a life-long commitment to each other. Is this something you understand and agree to?

Answer:

It is.

We have come together in the presence of God and of this congregation, to witness the renewal of the marriage vows of _________ and _________, to ask God's blessing on them, and to share in their joy.

What is marriage?

God’s word, the Bible, teaches that marriage is a gift of God to mankind, given at creation. It is a permanent, exclusive and God-sealed relationship, in which a man and woman leave their parents, stick to each other and become one flesh, that is, one unit.   

This gift has two primary purposes: to be a partnership and a picture.

In the partnership of marriage, the husband and wife are to serve God together by playing their part in the management of the world God has made and entrusted to mankind.

God's purpose when Christians marry is that, as husband and wife give themselves to each other in love throughout their lives, their marriage should be a living picture of the love between the Lord Jesus Christ and His people.

In order to enable the partnership of marriage to prosper and the picture of marriage to be clear, God has provided first of all that husband and wife may help and encourage each other in the service of God, living faithfully together in need and in plenty, in sorrow and in joy.

Also, that with delight and tenderness they may know each other in love, and, through the joy of their bodily union, may strengthen the union of their hearts and lives, and avoid the temptation to be unfaithful.

And finally, that they may have children and, if God graciously gives children, be blessed in caring for them and providing a stable home in which they may grow up in the knowledge and love of God, to the praise of His Holy Name.

The Lord Jesus Christ Himself was a guest at a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and through His Spirit, he is with us now.

In marriage, husband and wife belong to one another in the security of a lifelong mutual commitment.  This is not only for their own good but for the welfare of society as a whole, in which they begin a new life together.

It is a way of life that all should honour.

It must not be undertaken carelessly, lightly, or selfishly, but reverently, responsibly, and after serious thought.

This is the way of life, created and made holy by God, that _________ and _________ have already begun.

They will each renew their consent to the other; they will join hands and repeat solemn vows, and in token of this they will each give and receive a ring.

Therefore, let us pray for them that, strengthened and guided by God, they may fulfil his purpose for the whole of their earthly life together.

To the husband: 

_________ will you confirm that you have taken (Wife’s full name) to be your wife), to live together according to God's law as husband and wife.   Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her, as long as you both shall live?

The husband shall answer:

I will

To the wife:

_________, will you confirm that you have taken _________ to be your husband, to live together according to God's law as husband and wife?  Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him, as long as you both shall live?

The wife shall answer:

I will

The husband with his right hand takes the wife’s right hand in his and says:

I call upon those present / to witness that I, _________ 
have taken you _________ ,
to be my wife,
for better for worse,
whether richer or poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love, cherish and serve,
laying down my life for you,
until death separates us,
according to God's holy law;
and this is my solemn vow.

Loose hands: the wife with her right hand takes the husband’s right hand in hers and says:

I call upon those present
to witness that I, _________ 
have taken you _________ ,
to be my husband,
for better for worse,
whether richer or poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love, respect and serve,
and submit to you
until death separates us,
according to God's holy law;
and this is my solemn vow.

To the congregation:

Let us do all we can to support _________  and _________  as they seek to glorify God by remaining faithful to their marriage vows.

Loose hands: best man places the rings on the pastor’s book; the husband places the ring on the fourth finger of the wife’s left hand, and holding it there, says:

I give you this ring
as a token of our marriage.
With my body I honour you,
all that I am I give to you,
and all that I have I share with you.

Loose hands: the wife places the ring on the fourth finger of the husband's left hand, and holding it there, says:

I give you this ring
as a token of our marriage.
With my body I honour you,
all that I am I give to you,
and all that I have I share with you.

To the congregation:

In the presence of God, and before this congregation, _________  and _________  have renewed their marriage vows to each other.  They have declared their commitment to their marriage by the joining of hands and by the giving and receiving of rings.

Then the pastor joins their hands and says:

Those whom God has joined together let nobody separate.

Key

B: Bride
G: Groom
BrM: Bridesmaid
BM: Bestman
MB: Mother of bride
FB: Father of bride
FG: Father of groom
MG: Mother of groom